"Invisible" autism is not just hidden traits, it's hidden needs

"Invisible" autism is not just hidden traits, it's hidden needs. 

Suppressed needs.

It's needs going unmet because no one knows they exist.

Maybe not even you. But your nervous system knows.

It knows those unmet needs are a threat to your physical and mental safety. 

So it responds protectively. 

For survival. 

Fight, flight, freeze responses kick in. They are not strategic. They are reactive. Automatic. 

The first response is completely internal. No one can see it, but you can feel it.

Anxiety. Mental hypervigilance. Your nervous system is looking for ways to get you back to safety. So your internal response turns into behavior. Quickly. 

This is also reactive. Automatic. You do not control it... you just do it... for protection. 

These are things many people won't notice just by looking at you or from a brief interaction.

But those that are exposed to you frequently see it... except they misunderstand it.

They see...

- Avoidance

- Insistence on sameness 

- Inflexibility about routines 

- Rigidity / stubbornness 

- Repetitive behaviors and movement

- Rudeness (correcting others, interrupting others)

- Dysregulation 

- Distress (meltdowns)

- Social isolation

They see these things and judge them.

You are not a disabled person struggling in their eyes, you are a human... failing at being a good human. An *acceptable* human.

Except many autistic people learn to hide every single visible thing on that list too.

Things that are there because they are signs of unmet needs. Sometimes urgent ones.

Signs of an autistic person in an environment that their nervous system perceives of as a threat to their safety. A dangerous one.

So hiding these things, these behaviors, is not just making them invisible to others. 

It's suppressing autistic needs.

It's internalizing them. 

Instead of the signs sounding the alarm that the needs exist, they remain unmet. Actively harming the autistic person for as long as they remain unmet.

And that harm doesn't just continue, it accumulates. It compounds. It becomes long term health complications and mental and physical health deterioration. 

Think of it like a person with a nerve disorder not realizing their hand is burning because they can't feel it. But their hand is still. very. much. burning.

Eventually they will have third degree burns. Maybe even get to a point where amputation is required. 

Let's say they don't notice the burns and they become infected, then the infection grows and spreads to their entire body, eventually causing them to die.

Invisible needs are not nonexistent because you don't see them. They are also not preferences.

Autistic needs are not preferences. 

They are *requirements* for autistic people to remain physically and mentally safe in environments that didn't account for their needs when they were created.

Hidden autistic needs are not masked *traits.*

They are suppressed *needs.*

Internalized needs.

And autism will never be fully understood if *this* is not understood.

This is what autistic advocacy needs to do. This is where it needs to go. Because progress is currently stalled and if we want to see progress again, we need to stop doing the same things hoping for different results.

And when I say this is what autistic advocacy needs to do, I'm not talking about *autism* advocacy, where allies try to help us by spreading awareness... 

I'm talking about *autistic* advocacy... where autistic advocates (who have the bandwidth for this) spread education about the internal experiences I just outlined. 

That's how we make progress as a community. 

And I sincerely hope some of you will join me. 🙏🏻

P.s. For those who are new here, I'm Nicole Filippone, autistic advocate, philosopher of human difference, and translator of the human experience. (This is the quickest way I have found to describe what I do, how I think, and how I advocate).

My entire platform focuses on this exact thing. Making the internal autistic experience understandable to others, and then using that same education to push for meaningful system-level change for our community. 

If this sounds like content you would value, you are in the right place. 

Welcome. I'm glad you found your way here 🙏🏻